Couple finds same-sex weddings a 'spiritual experience'

Mark and Janet Rosenbury have been working for LGBT equality for nearly 20 years. When the couple moved to Des Moines, that effort naturally progressed to marriage equality.

"I think all loving couples should have the same rights," Janet says. "Why should Mark and I have any special rights that gay people don't have? We can't help but think if you don't have the same rights, it's like they are second class citizens."

"At best," Mark adds.

The couple credits Plymouth Congregational Church for solidifying their resolve to keep working and pushing for full LGBT equality. Before moving to Des Moines, Janet says she and Mark belonged to a progressive church group in Sioux City, but the denomination denied LGBT people full participation in the church.

"That's why we're so pleased to be at Plymouth. Two people who love each other make a commitment, so Plymouth will marry them," Mark says. "It's important for these folks to stand up in front of friends and family and say, 'We are a couple.'"

"At Plymouth, it doesn't matter who you are," Janet says. "When we first went and looked around, there were gay couples in leadership positions. For us to be part of a faith group that embraced everyone, that is the best part of being there."

As part of their commitment to equality, Janet volunteers on LGBT organization boards, including One Iowa, and participates in phone banks and lobby days. She says Mark is better at speaking out to people he meets and those he knows from the business community.

"I don't like hearing people say things like, 'I'm not going to associate with "those" people,'" Mark says. "'Those' people are just like me, and I'm just very pleased to associate with them."

"Iowa has really brought this to us," Janet says. "Some of our relatives in Indiana can't comprehend what we're doing. They claim they don't know anyone who's gay, but I don't know where they're living."

Whether or not the Iowa Supreme Court decision changed Iowa, depends on your point of view says Mark.

"I don't think it's changed at all, and that's the amazing thing," Mark says. "People have just gone on with their lives and I haven't seen any opposite-sex couples get divorced because gays can marry.

But if I were a gay person, I'd say it changed a lot. I know gay couples who are so happy. Like that couple from Texas featured on the site, they cherished the vows they took in Iowa. It has had an effect."

Mark says the importance of the marriage ceremony itself surprised and inspired him.

"I always thought rights for same-sex couples to marry was really because they deserve the legal benefits," Mark says. "And I thought the couples were only getting half a loaf because the federal government does not yet recognize their marriages.

"Then last year, when we attended a few same-sex weddings, I realized for these folks to stand up in front of friends and family and say, 'We are a loving couple committed to be together for life,' was the most important thing."

"We've been to many same-sex ceremonies, and it's a spiritual experience," Janet adds. "These weddings are great celebrations of marriage, with many supporting friends and family members attending. And we get to go to another one tonight."